Memorial Meeting for Kennan Garvey at Friends Meeting of Washington (FMW)
February 23, 2008

Transcript of the Memorial Meeting

Track 02 - Jackie DeCarlo, Head of Meeting

I would like to welcome you to the Friends Meeting of Washington (FMW) where Kennan Garvey was a beloved member for many years. We are glad that you’re with us to celebrate his life, honor his memory and console his family and friends. This memorial meeting will be held in the manor of the Religious Society of Friends. You may have read in the program that that means we will settle into silence. After we are gathered in the silence, if anyone feels lead to speak about Kennan’s life, you are welcome to stand and do so. We will hope that there will be a little bit of silence between messages so we can take in the full force of the message. After an appropriate period of time we will then break the silence from the facing bench which is where we have gathered some friends of Kennan’s, some Friends he knew of Washington, as well as his family. If you choose not to speak or you don’t feel lead, but you would like to leave a remembrance, there are cards that you can write messages on and a box at the bottom of the stairs where you can leave those messages for the family later. This meeting will, by the way, be recorded and so we wanted to let you know that audio recording is happening. Once again, thank you for being with us and we join together in remembering that of God within Kennan which is within all of us.

Track 03 - Nancy Beiter, member of FMW

I think the word that comes to mind most readily when I think about Kennan is reliable. And it says a lot about Kennan but it doesn’t say nearly enough. I think everybody knows he was reliable, always reliable. But, he was reliable in a way that was so grounded. Whenever I got upset about something, (I get upset about things, around here a lot of the time), he was always able to help me put it in perspective and to focus on what was really important, which was usually not whatever it was I was upset about. And, to see the bigger picture and to just keep us all steady. And, that’s why it’s such a huge loss for us. A huge void. And, it’s hard, but I’m going to try to live in his ….

Track 04 - Len Funk, Fairlington neighbor

As a long time neighbor of Kennan Garvey, there’s a lot of things I really admired. But, most of all, recently, was his absolute devotion to his grandchildren. Though Kennan is considerably younger than me, I haven’t had the opportunity yet, and this tragedy in the past two or three weeks has given Marilyn and I, a blessing to get more practice taking care of Owen. And I must say it’s a blessing and I feel that I’ve had the opportunity to learn a great deal from Kennan. And quoting Laurence Binyon’s Ode to the Fallen: “He shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old. Age shall not weary him, nor the years condemn. As the going down of the sun and in the morning we shall remember him.”

Track 05 - Dan Dozier, member of FMW

Nancy used the word reliable in thinking of Kennan. The word that had been bouncing around in my head is ‘quiet confidence’. Kennan and Libby were a team and Libby was the up-front and more voluble, but Kennan…Kennan…Kennan was the glue. Kennan was the example I used when talking to my middle child, my son, Will, when we would talk about ‘not all Quakers are crazy’. He didn’t buy it when he’d hear it from Martha, but from Kennan he’d be ok. I miss you Kennan.

Track 06 - Maureen O’Conner, Kennan’s sister

The reason Kennan wasn’t more voluble is he has three very voluble sisters, and we trained him early. There’s a saying in our family he didn’t speak until he was 3, because he didn’t have to, and that when he did, he talked in full sentences. And I think you can probably all relate to that. Kennan’s been an important part of our family, one of the ‘glue’, as you said. He kept us all centered. It’s an honor to see all of you who knew him and respected him. I think the thing that’s difficult when someone dies young who did everything right, who always told us to work out and do a better job about staying in shape. It’s hard to accept that, it’s hard to understand why that happens, hard for all our young men and women here, their uncle that was such a guide to them. And it doesn’t make sense, but a lot of things in life don’t. But I think that when we talk about someone like Kennan who has so many traits that we all wish we had, maybe they leave because one person can’t do it all. And so it reminds us all that we, each of us, needs to do those same things. A little more respect, a little more thoughtfulness, a little more reliability. So, we’re honored, we appreciate that so many cared for him.

Track 07 - Mary Jean Kane, friend of 30 years

My husband and I have known Libby and Kennan for about 30 years. We were next door neighbors, literally, in Fairlington, and we knew them even before Shannon and Ruth were born and my oldest daughter was about 10 months old, I think, when we moved in and then they moved in. And we were good neighbors to each other, going back and forth to each other’s homes, you know, ‘mi casa es su casa’. I haven’t had as good a neighbor since. But, what I really wanted to say was that we’ve lost touch in recent years and then paradoxically had a reunion as Christmas which our oldest daughters arranged, which was lovely. Our children, and Libby and Kennan’s children and their grandchildren where there, and it was lovely. And I feel so fortunate for that. And what I told some of my friends, people who are closest to me, about Kennan’s death and Libby’s loss, I said, “You know, I really feel for my friend losing her husband”, and I said, “They weren’t just married, they were soul mates.” And that was really what I wanted to say.

Track 08 - Alan Abramson

I grew up in an ethnically diverse lower class neighborhood in Bronx, NY. And I didn’t form any prejudices based on ethnic relationships but there was one thing that I did notice. That there were would be people one walked away from and people one walked toward. When I met Kennan many years later it was instantly obvious that he was a person one walked toward (and I think all of us share that perception), and we could do so fearlessly knowing that the reception would be a positive one. He was an outstanding public servant, the ideal public servant: intelligent, independent, problem solving, non- judgmental. Although if you asked him in the right way, I did learn that he had opinions about things. But one of the most golden employees and public servants one could ever find. And as many of you know he was a terrific athlete. Something I suspected for a long time, but didn’t really understand until we played tennis together one day. I being not very competent, facing Kennan for the first time and offered him the serve. He served, and I turned around to watch the ball hit the fence. Kennan was simply a wonderful person and we all share the sense of loss.

Track 09 - Craig Olsen, Fairlington neighbor

Well, my wife Elba and I have known Libby and Kennan for many years as well in North Fairlington. Elba wanted to be here today, but…. Some of you may not know that Libby’s outstanding career on the School Board got its origin in the North Fairlington baby [sitting] co-op. I was reminded of that. I spent the last three days one of the people that Libby sat, and reminded her that Kennan also babysat -- my daughter Alexandra. I spent three days with her in NY, and she reminded me of that. My wife Elba and Libby gave us a good start and therefore she contributed to her outstanding career on the School Board and I reminded her that I contributed too and so did Kennan.

Track 10 - J.E. McNeil, member of FMW

I confess that the word that comes to my mind when I think of Kennan is pleasant. And like reliable and quietly competent it’s a mild word, but an apt one. And I also confess that I rarely think of Kennan or Libby or Shannon or Ruth or Owen, I think of the Garvey’s, as a unit. When I was struggling it was to the Garvey’s I turned for help. And there have been times I think that they’ve turned to me. When my husband died they were among many in the Meeting who made a point of growing closer to me. And so I can say with some experience that you never loose a soul mate.

Track 11 - Judy Garvey, Kennan’s sister

I think that most of our family has probably never been in here [Meeting] but have certainly heard about this for years. And I wish I would have come with Kennan, that would have made him happy. Now I see that the silence…you know Kennan maybe didn’t talk as much as some of us, but he had that quality. And more in our adult lives, I’d see him being quiet. And I’d say “Hey, Kennan, what’s going on?” And I think a lot of that came from this experience. It’s beautiful in here. I can’t talk about the essence of Kennan because it’s too deep, and I don’t have words for it. But he solidified the whole family. Everything that I hear everyone say is what I must repeat. Any time any of us needed anything we would go to Kennan and Libby. I was telling my other sister-in-law last night that I’ve been so grateful as an adult to see my two brothers and who’ve they married because they’ve been so happy. With my other brother and his wife. His wife and Libby are wonderful women, and it so it gave me satisfaction and comfort to know my brothers were happy. And we had another brother who died when he was a child and so somehow it feels like Kennan is making his peace with all that now, too. So thank you for everything you possibly did and I know you did. It’s a comfort. We love him so much, and I know that you loved him. In a more profound way, it’s different than a biologically visceral, emotional thing, the Meeting has a loss. And I am sorry for your loss too. And all of us are here. I think there’s just two of us [from the family] missing. So most everyone is here.

Track 12 - Katie McDonald, childhood friend

I grew up with Kennan Garvey in Indiana. And I can say that it is very nice that as an adult he was the same person he was in high school as an 18 year old. And I am proud to be a charter member of the Kennan Garvey fan club, me and the army of 13 year olds who were madly in love with the guy. And, Libby, you won. There are two lessons that even my children know. One of them is, we were 18 or 17 years old and at that time, everybody was, you were proud to get your drivers license and to drive. But Kennan went out and bought a ten speed bicycle, and none of us had ever heard of a ten speed bicycle. And people were going “what is that about??” But I have to say that I so admired him because he did something and was not afraid to do something that gave him great joy. Even though he was the only person you knew who had that joy. He was unafraid of experiencing that. And I’ve told this to my family all these years, and I really appreciate that quality in him. And the second one is that, I’ve heard it a few times, he had a quality of taking a serious, tense situation and acting on it through his humor, which was biting, incisive and very, very funny, and tempering the situation. I learned a lot from that man.

Track 13

Selfless, caring, giving, loving, that was the Kennan we knew. Whatever the situation difficult or easy, pleasant or unpleasant, his characteristic reaction was that famous wry smile, a thoughtful, wry smile. We’ll always remember that and the best memorial we can give to him is to find more of that in our own lives.

Track 14 - Patrick Hynes, friend

My own link to Kennan was spousal. Mary and Libby both served on the School Board together, and that was my introduction to Kennan. I find it nice to be here among friends because that was one of the true qualities, a loving and a caring friendship that called him on his path. But even for me, the idea that you might have to put up with some difficult times in the community or among your friends, there was a way that Kennan had of disarming, disarming it all, and then the larger view of friendship in the community as a whole and which this is part of right now. We’re all part of that community. We all know that Kennan was blessed by God’s grace to be a friend to all that put their hands out. I feel bad for you Libby and for Ruth and for your daughter and your grandchildren. The spirit certainly can guide me as trying to be as true a friend as he was.

Track 15 - Frank Wilson, colleague of Libby’s

It would be very hard for me to live with myself if I didn’t say a few words about the Garvey family. Kennan was a very gentle, gentle, respectful man. I got to know Kennan through his wife Libby. Libby and I served for quite some time on the School Board together. When I read the quote in the program here, if you’ll just allow me to do that here for a moment, “Are we all judged ultimately on how we effect those closest to us?”, I can see that in Libby, even though that I never got a chance to meet Shannon and Ruth, but I knew about Shannon and Ruth and also knew about her grandson. And so through it all it’s the importance of what family means to us all. And especially when family respects us, because when family respects us others will as well. God bless you.

Track 16 - Brenna O’Connor, niece

I’m one of Kennan’s nieces. One of the joys of being in this family is that we all get together at my Aunt Rita’s house at Thanksgiving, and we all have massive soccer competitions. Kennan was just so magnificent out there, running around with all these massive men in the family and just beating them up. One thing I remember most about Kennan is when I was a little girl, we went there, and you know those packing peanuts that are just so annoying you can never get rid of them? Well he had a few and he was dipping them in this bucket and I was like “what is this, what are you doing?” And he said, “Well, this is an acid that can get rid of packing peanuts.” And he showed me how they decompose, and he told me about all the chemicals, and what happens, and I was just so amazed by that. Oh, my gosh! Tell me more! He was always teaching, and he was so kind and so encouraging, and he was just such a magnificent person, and we are going to miss him so much. And I just wanted to share that.

Track 17 - Rita Bourland, Kennan’s sister

When Kennan was a little boy, he used to come to dinner and we’d always eat dinner at our house with a spinning, lazy susan. And, he used to study the dictionary when he was a boy. Go figure, right. He would come to the table, and he would try out the latest word that he was practicing. And sometimes he would use it wrong, and with older siblings --I’m younger, I didn’t do this-- but with older siblings, they would tease him and correct him. But he never, ever quit learning his whole life. He had such a keen intellect. It’s really legendary. He would research things. He would study. He would share it with all of us, and it was just a beautiful thing. But he didn’t ever lord it over anyone. He would always listen, he was very patient. And the thing that really came through for me was the love that was running through everything in his life. It didn’t matter the person he met, everyone was his people. Absolutely everyone. We just love him dearly, and thank you for sharing your own prayer about him.

Track 18 - Norb Garvey, Kennan’s brother

Kennan, my brother, he moved through life with a quiet grace. As you said earlier, sir, you would never even have known what an athlete he was had you never competed against him. As he was in all things in life, he wasn’t outwardly proud, he was inwardly proud as my parent taught us to be: to go through life, and do what you can to make a difference and work hard. And a lot of that we owe to my parents, and I just wanted to mention that. Thank you all for being here. It’s hard for me.

Track 19 - Brother Thomas Dillman, Kennan’s uncle

As another representative of Ken’s family, I’m Brother Tom, Kennan’s uncle. Many thoughts have been going through my mind as I’ve heard the various tributes paid to him. I first of all would say that, yes, God did take him at an unfortunately, relatively young age from us, but God’s ways are not ours. And yet, I think there is something very much to be gained in this early passing of Ken, because it focuses more on the life of a truly, very fine Christian man, one who lived life, full up, full stop. Not in trying to extract the last ounce of pleasure or convenience or comfort from the material things or for self-aggrandizement or whatever. But, in his reaching out in the fullest of his giving for others, his being and his presence. When he was with you, he was with you. He wasn’t just someone sharing a particular space in a room. Ken, I think, this might be the best thing I could say about him: Were an angel sent by God, on that morning of Kennan’s death, and said to him “Kennan today, you will be held accountable for what you have been given.” I don’t know that Kennan would have really changed his life; the unfolding things that occurred on that day, from what would be otherwise. His life in the morning, to the activities: sharing companions with others with the handball, and the family later in the afternoon, the evening, dinner with wine and so forth and finally talking to his sister on the phone when his death occurred. I think that is the best thing I can say about Ken is that he was ready at any time to meet his maker, by his life lived so well. That he used the fullest of his gifts and talents for others as much as for himself, or even more: in this setting here, in his community and in other areas of the world. He, particularly with me and with our mission in Africa, was very, very helpful both in his counsel to me sometimes, even though I was the uncle and should have been counseling him. And he was just a splendid young man in all ways. And I pray most loving Father now to You that You receive in Your eternal embrace and love, our beloved Kennan. That You now share in that eternal glory that You have given, and that You will give to all those who are the faithful and devoted servants. Kennan is one of these, most loving Father. We commend him unto Your spirit. Amen.

Track 20 - Amber Garvey, niece

When people ask me about Uncle Kennan from where I’m from I say he was probably one of the smartest people I ever knew. And in this family, that’s pretty high up. And so, every Thanksgiving when I would see my Uncle Kennan, I would feel really inspired and really conscious of the fact that anything I said to him I would try to make it sound like the smartest thing I could possibly say. I often would bring homework with me on Thanksgiving, and I was writing a paper one time, and I couldn’t think of a passage into a next sentence. He said “try using the words ‘equally fervent’”. I have use that probably a hundred times since, and every time I put it in I think about what Uncle Kennan told me. And I also think that what everyone has said today about Uncle Kennan could be cause for a ripple effect. If one person in this room could do something in the way that my Uncle Kennan had done in his life, in kindness, or just any way, what a big chain reaction that would cause. So if anyone could do that, or think about that at any time in the next week or the next year, that would be a big ripple.

Track 21 - Doug Weik, EPA colleague

I’ve been fortunate to have known Kennan as a friend and colleague for about 20 years. When I think of Kennan I think of a perfect combination of professionalism and kindness. And these traits made him a wonderful colleague and an even better friend. Whether we were playing softball with the Pesticidal Maniacs or sharing a nice chat at a political get together in Arlington, it was always a pleasure to be with Kennan. I just feel so privileged to have known him. I know I am a better person for having known him. I miss him dearly.

Track 22 - Zeb Garvey, nephew

Kennan was my uncle. The way I always looked at it when I thought about him working at the EPA up here in Washington, it always brought a little bit of confidence back to me in my government cause I knew at least I knew there was one least fighting the good fight for all of us.

Track 23 - Grant Thompson, member FMW

We’ve heard about what a good relative, good brother, what a good work colleague Kennan was, but it was a terrible loss to this Meeting as a Meeting community. As you know from the materials, he was the Clerk of this Meeting and also Clerk of Trustees. Leadership in a Quaker setting is a difficult issue. It doesn’t come from position or birth or inheritance or any other way. Leadership is something which comes from within and is granted in response by a loving and caring community. As Clerk…. people have talked about his outer grace as an athlete, but I think he was a wonderful Clerk because of his inner grace at this Meeting. This meeting community is feeling its loss keenly.

Track 24 - Connie Francis, Fairlington neighbor

Following the part about Kennan being a government worker, I’m one of his Fairlington neighbors, and he would always ride his bicycle past my house back and forth to work. So I was sometimes out working in the garden. We never exchanged a word but maybe a wave or a nod, and sometimes he’d have his headlight on in the dark. But, whenever he had passed, I always felt all was well.

Track 25 - Susan Lepper, member of FMW

As members who have spoken have indicated, I knew Kennan in context at this Quaker community. And I think back to my first encounter with Kennan, and it was in some ways typical and appropriate. Kennan was trying to get a job done right, and he was to us is what we call Clerk, which many people would call chairman of a committee, and I was on another committee and typically I was running late. So, this was a slightly tense way in which to make the acquaintance of Kennan Garvey. That was probably 15 years ago and I think with every month and every year that has passed since, I have come to appreciate more and more indeed his desire to get things done right. Reports written on time, to get facts straight, to be sure that in complicated situations that he understood what was really happening, which is a tremendous attribute of leadership. But I also came to appreciate the great personal warmth, the great humility that he would bring to any occasion. And I came to appreciate the depth of his caring in other respects about Quakerism, in part with by observing the situation with his wife. Libby on a number key occasions has been an important moving force in the Peace Witness, a gathering once a week on Capitol Hill that has gone on since shortly before the invasion of Iraq. Kennan would come with her on occasion and there were times when Libby would be just bubbling with something that had happened or perhaps with an observation of people going by us and how they were reacting to us. And Kennan would stand there for a little while and then I’d see him nudge her and say “We’re supposed to be meditating in silence.” I thought of that, and I should reemphasize Kennan’s great warmth – I think I knew how to take it. It was indeed an indication of his depth of concern, his depth of caring about the real central, spiritual essence of this organization to which he gave so much. I also find that my lasting image of Kennan will have to do with that Peace Witness because Kennan didn’t always accompany Libby there. On occasion he would come a little later with Jeremiah (who had been around a few moments ago). He would come with Jeremiah, and they would stand, waiting for the Witness to end and for Libby to join them. And they would stand down by the pool below the Capitol reflecting pool. And it was a wonderful image because Jeremiah was fascinated by the ducks. And Jeremiah would be running around the pool to get to the place where he could be closest to the ducks. And Kennan would be standing, tall, slim, relaxed and totally alert. Ready to run when necessary to keep Jeremiah from going swimming with the ducks. And somehow I think I’ll always have that image of that figure, silhouetted against the sky. So caring for the concern that Libby was carrying out, so caring for his grandson, and indeed both relaxed and capable and alert.

Track 26 - Federico Frum, friend of Kennan’s daughter

I think when we think about images of Ruth’s father I think a lot of us would think about him sitting at the head of the table at the house. And, always being hungry, I would go to Ruth’s house and get something to eat and hang out with her family and I definitely feel blessed. About a year ago I went to India and talked with Ruth’s father and corresponded with him and his wife too for a while about how much they loved India. And I must have had a good hour long conversation with Kennan just about India and how they had the greatest time visiting. I’m happy to have gotten to know him even better just through that. Even though I did spend a lot of time in the house, eating.

Track 27 - Hadid Saper, EPA colleague

I worked for Kennan for about 6 years at the EPA. And you’re right, you should be proud -- he really was fantastic and you’re getting your money’s worth. But kind, caring and patient are the 3 things, of hundreds of things you could say about Kennan that I think of first hand, that I experienced first hand. These are things I work on everyday myself and still don’t have an ounce of what Kennan had during the time I worked for him and knew him. He was very caring also. He cared about us individually at work. He understood that I was kind of afraid to take airplane flights, and so he wouldn’t force me to go on any trips that I needed to get on an airplane, except for a trip that we had to take to go to Boston to one of our National meetings. I was the organizer so I had to be there. It was right after 9/11, and I’m Middle Eastern and so not only was I afraid of the flight, I was afraid of the security clearance. I mean….you know. So, he was very kind and gentle with me going and coming. But coming back, we were going through Boston airport, one of the airports that all this stuff happened, so I was just as nervous as could be. But with Kennan being so calm, just take our shoes off together, walk through…. We get back to D.C., and I’m just so relieved but still stressed from this trip. So we get into a cab from National to get home, both of us. I had parked my car at work and Kennan, of course, had come by cab from home. So we get in the cab and Kennan says where we want to go. And the guy, the taxi driver says “Get out!” I said “why?” “I’ll only take the one address, I’m not going to two addresses.” So before I could start arguing with him, Kennan was on the sidewalk already. It was perfect. And I looked at him and all this stress just came out, and I started arguing with the guy, “You know, you have no right. We’ll pay you, pay you extra.” And can hear Kennan calling my name from the sidewalk. “Just come on, please.” So I said, ok, so I got out of the cab. And the guy says, “Now, go stand on the sidewalk.” And I’m like, “I’m going, do you own the sidewalk?” And I turned around and looked at Kennan and the look on his face was like, please don’t get in a fight with this guy, I just want to go home. So we got into another cab, and luckily the guy was from Afghanistan. And I say luckily because he spoke Farsi, the language I speak, so we got to speaking and he said, “Why were you were so upset?” And I said, “Because of what that guy said.” And he said, “Oh, that guy, I know him, he’s a crazy guy.” So I felt good, in front of Kennan, that it wasn’t just me. So he was very patient and I’m still trying to learn.

Track 28 - Mary Hynes, School Board colleague of Libby’s

I’ve known Libby for over 20 years, and Kennan through her. I was struck today that Quakers believe that there is that of God is in every person. I think that’s what we’ve all been talking about, because it all came from that piece of God that was in Kennan. I always find these things difficult, talking, but music always helps, and I was so grateful for the singing when we came in. But, in the last 5 years or so in my life, I’ve been hanging on to a song that I actually think describes Kennan very, very well. And it goes like this:

“We are called to act with justice. We are called to love tenderly. We are called to serve one another. To walk, humbly with God.”

I think that describes him well.

Track 29 - Pat Byram, family friend

I think when we lose someone like Kennan who is so young… I lost my own Ken at a similar age, and Libby was always there for me through that time, and I just don’t even know how to turn around to be there for her. But what I think I’ve learned over the past 8 years, is that, as Mary said, ‘God within’ is still there and with people like Kennan, who worked through so many of us that we’ve heard today – that their spirit isn’t gone even if their body is no longer with us, and we carry that now, that piece of God in us, and we can bring that forward and touch other people with it. And that’s a great gift that Kennan has left with Libby and Ruth and Shannon and all of us.

Track 30 - Debbie Churchman, member of FMW

“Oh, Holy Spirit, thank you for this man. Thank you for the love that he gave each of us. Thank you for the love that he evoked from each of us. Hold us in our loss. Help us to bring this love forward.”

Track 31 - Mac Test, Libby’s brother

As Libby’s younger brother, Kennan was my brother-in-law. Indeed more than a brother-in-law, he was a brother, and I believe a brother to all of us here today. I learned greatly from him through all the years, looked to him whenever I had questions about life, and he always provided me answers. I thought of him as a sort of corner stone, I guess, rock solid. But more than a corner stone, you’d say in a beautiful brick building like this, a keystone in an archway to a large bridge. And that bridge supported many, many people crossing to and fro and that bridge still continues today, perhaps continuing the ripples that we mentioned earlier. People are still traveling that bridge, and I’m glad I had the chance to travel and learn from him. One story that came my way after his passing, and I think this speaks very well of Kennan, was, at work there was a lady that he would help every morning, and she was in a wheelchair. He would help her to come to work every day at the EPA. And he was soon to retire, as many of you know, and he was very concerned who was going to help this lady at the EPA in her wheelchair everyday after he was gone. That speaks very well of Kennan, and I believe today that somebody will be there to help that lady because of Kennan, and that’s the kind of man he was, and will continue to be in our hearts.

Track 32 - Luz Camarena Test

I am Mac’s wife, and there is a way that I will always remember Kennan, smiling. He was such a dear person and always, one of the things that I really liked about Kennan, is that with his smile and big heart, he was always welcoming, everybody. And he was aware of everybody in the room. We grown ups tend to be always so busy, talking or being. Kennan was always alert, if one was fighting, or one was sad, or of the kids. I always feel so secure and so safe around him. I felt pretty much like Mac, he was more than a big brother. More than a big brother, he was a big father. I have to thank him for so many things. He was helpful so many times, and he was there for us also in so many moments. Thank you Kennan, thank you.

Track 33 - Ruth Garvey, daughter

People that know my father’s life in Meeting know that he would be quite tickled that I’m talking. He used to bring me here, kicking and screaming (literally) because I did not want to go. Anyway, when I got to the age that I was old enough to stay at home he decided that he really shouldn’t try to impose religion on me. He taught me a lot of things over the years. One of which is something I use everyday in my life. He really did encompass all that was good. It’s human nature, I think, to judge, its also human nature to criticize. My dad never did any of that in his life, or at least in the 25 years that I knew him. I never heard him do it once. And I remember being frustrated one time because I was going through a hard time after my son was born, and I was very upset at his father. And my father somehow turned the situation around and made me stand in his shoes for a minute. And I’ve never been able to be mad at him or anyone else for that matter since then. Not matter how tough the situation is. And I’ve been able to use that, as I think all of us have that knew him.

Track 34 - Norma Jean Lawton, Fairlington neighbor

I’ve been a neighbor of the Garvey’s for a generation now. When Kennan and Libby first came to Fairlington, when they first came, here was this beautiful couple. And they’d been in the Peace Corps- I was so impressed. And to me it showed you how these were very dedicated people. But also here came Shannon in just a little time. And they were great neighbors. And at that time even I was impressed with Kennan as one of the “new dads”. A generation before, you wouldn’t have caught a guy with a diaper hanging on his shoulder. And Bob [Kane]…. I remember the two guys, taking care of those kids and going to day care, the mother’s day out – whatever it was. And they had a wonderful time. Over the years after they left I really know that Kennan and Libby made sure we had good neighbors in that house of theirs, really good people. Nothing compares to having Ruth come back into your home. Its been wonderful. And of course Kennan rides by on his bicycle. And Jeremiah is a busy little man. And we talked about how cool his grandpa was. I thought what a great little girls’ dad Kennan had and now looking back and seeing him with Jeremiah. And always very nice to visit and chat and remembered to ask me about things that I did too. But today, I looked at the quotes [on the memorial program]. The quote that Kennan had on his computer, I think this is so wonderful. And you said that Kennan was a life long learner. I’m a retired school teacher but I still love the chance to teach. As Jeremiah comes around to talk about things he’s so interested in, I think that in Jeremiah, we’re going to see a continuation and, with Jeremiah, he’s never going to lose that holy curiosity either.

Track 35 - Dave Atwood, Peace Corps friend and neighbor

I knew Kennan and Libby when they were Peace Corps volunteers in the Central African Republic. They were the only married people in the Peace Corps. The rest of us (there were 30 or 40 of us) were all single, 22, 23, 24, 25 years old, confused about life, sort of doing what we thought we’d want to be doing. But Kennan and Libby were sort of hard to figure out. They were kind of a mystery because they loved each other; they were married; they were doing what they wanted to be doing; and they were not confused. And over the years as I got to know them better and got married and had kids, they really became a model of marriage and a model of a father for me. And like some of the other people in this room have mentioned, just the number of time Kennan and Libby together or separately cared about us, ministered to us, helped us as neighbors and friends in good times and bad times. They’ve been a really important part of our life. That’s my memory of Kennan. Thank you Kennan, thank you Kennan and Libby, for being who you were and who you are.

Track 36 - Robin Appleberry, member of FMW

I’ve been thinking a lot of about Kennan lately and Libby. They welcomed us into their home a couple of times. One was a few years ago when I became a member of this Meeting. Kennan and Libby had me over to welcome me and had a bunch of other Friends there. And a few weeks before I had fallen madly in love and my sweetheart was visiting from out of town and so I said, can I bring him and they said of course, and welcomed us into their home. And we had such a fun night. Then I went back a few months ago, and they were welcoming another new member and that time I was married to my sweetheart. Again it was a really lovely warm home full with family and a pretty deep, low grade chaos. Both times it was kind of a crazy house, and they just kind of rolled with it. And I was surprised both times. The first time it was campaigning that was going on and it was sort of “well, we’re crazy, but come on in”. And then the second time it was a new baby. Every time I ran into Kennan I’d say, “How are you?” And he’d say, “Yeah… we’re good. My daughter is having a baby, and she wants to have it at the house.” But when he invited us in, when you both invited us in, it was clear that there was just this steady state of whatever, whatever chaos, it was still a family. That that family could open itself up to us in the midst of all that and just have us over for dinner. There was no possible ulterior motive, except to share some love and build community. It was just really touching. I’ve been thinking a lot about Kennan and reading the things that people have written about him and honestly I thought, yeah, I’m never going to be like that. And it’s true, and there are wonderful things about me that are incompatible with the wonderful things about Kennan. It’s just true, we’re different. As I thought about what it is about him that was so lovely I can’t be those exact things, but I can keep in my mind the love of family that he lived out and didn’t wait to do later. And I can hang on to the things that he did have and find my own way of doing them.

Track 37 - Shannon Garvey, daughter

A few days after my Dad died, I was struggling to find words to think of how to describe the way he approached life. The only word that I came up with was ‘bracing.’ He took the good and the bad and looked it right in the face and that was ok. And I don’t know that he directly told us to do that, but he showed us how to do that. And that’s been an incredible source of strength in this time to me. And the other thing I’ve been thinking about, in rolling with the punches and chaos, is that we used to take family beach vacations. In some respects we still do, but we used to do it absolutely every year. And there was always a certain concern from my parents that the ocean could be dangerous, but they also felt it was something to be experienced. They taught us how to experience it with as much safety as possible. And I remember little lessons over and over again, like “do you see that wave coming, do you think it will break before we gets here or are we going to be able to ride the swell?” And to make the decision at the last minute to jump up have fun or duck down and let the wave go over. And for me that really symbolizes his bracing approach to life. To look on ahead and see what’s coming and deal with it as best as we can.

Track 38 - Joe Duncan, from college years

I’d like to speak for my wife who is traveling and can’t be here, but she is here in spirit would have wanted to speak. My wife, Shannon Stimson, was a college classmate of Libby. Through Shannon I learned about Kennan and Libby although I’d never met them. I learned about their torrid college love affair. How every weekend Kennan was at Mount Holyoke, or Libby was at Yale, but they could not be separated for a while. And how devoted they were to each other and immediately married and went off and joined the Peace Corps. But they left one thing behind, and it’s through that thing that I learned about them. It was a small portable gas stove that you’d use if you go camping. And Shannon would like to embellish the story and say that on the way out of the wedding they said, “Here Shannon, keep this, save it for us until we get back. “ And she did, for almost 30 years. It was a constant part and has been of our married life. And whenever we would move or even rearrange things there would be that little stove, and I’d say, “Shannon, when are you going to give that back, they must want it!” And she’d say, “Don’t worry, I’ll never lose it, I’ll get it back to them eventually.” And she did. But, for 30 years at least, it’s been part of our married life, and through it I would always hear more stories about Kennan and Libby. And I’d hear again how devoted they were; first they had a daughter Shannon, Ruth, and other stories through friends about what their married life was like. I never met them, but that stove over time became more precious and more endowed with richness. And I know how thrilled Shannon was when she was finally able to return it not that long ago, and also how much more thrilled she was that their own married life seemed to be so much more precious and even more endowed with richness than when she had first met them. Although I never met Kennan, I read the moving tribute that his daughters wrote and I can only hope that many of my remaining days on this earth can be as rich in love, peace and harmony as that day was.

Track 39 - Marti Garvey, sister-in-law

I’m Kennan’s sister-in-law, and I’ve been sitting here hearing all these wonderful things and that’s what I want to say, too. But really the word for me for Kennan is kindness, because I came into the family last. He was the guy I kind of gravitated to because he made me feel safe and secure. And it’s truly an honor to be in this family. We have a son, Josiah who can’t be here today due to school commitments, and I can’t speak for him, but I will say that he loved to play with Uncle Kennan -- just couldn’t wait to go to Thanksgiving to play with Uncle Kennan. And of all the stories that I have there’s one that does come to mind. It was the one and only thing that Kennan and I did together by ourselves, and that was the tandem ride we took. I believe that it was one of the first times that Kennan and Libby started doing tandem bicycling together. They came to Indiana where we’re from on their anniversary and stayed with us. We live in the South Central Indiana which, if some of you don’t know, is the hilly part of Indiana. It’s the most beautiful part of Indiana. And as I said they came to our house to spend time with us, and Kennan was so excited about this new tandem bicycle. He kept saying, “Come on, Marti, go for a ride with me.“ And I was like oh no, I don’t know if I can do this, but I really wanted to at his encouragement. And so, off we went, as I said in the hilly part of our area. We’re going and pedaling, and Kennan, as you know, is an amazingly powerful person. We went probably 3 or 4 miles and I couldn’t do it anymore, I couldn’t pedal and keep up with him. And he kept encouraging me and saying you’re doing a great job. Little did he know that I had stopped pedaling, a long time ago. And when we turned around and rode home, 4 or 5 miles, he’s doing all the work, and he of course thinks I’m pedaling. And we get home, and he tells Libby what a great job I did, and I never told him that I wasn’t pedaling. So, it is my commitment and vow to keep going through life pedaling for Kennan and for all his motivation that he has given us and our family. I just really loved him, and I thank him for that great ride.

Track 40 - Sudie McGahuey, music colleague and Fairlington neigbhor

I had the joy of making music with Kennan. He was an amateur in the best sense of the word, and I really treasured the time he would spend with recorders and virginals and all different kinds of early music. It was even more fun than putting on the costumes, and we looked a little ridiculous probably. But that wonderful time to make music together, we have too little of in our busy electronic worlds , and I will treasure forever.

Track 41 - Lou Brown, handball partner

I guess I’m a relative newcomer to Kennan’s life, I only knew him 4 or 5 years. It was in the context of handball. Peter and I and another fellow were playing handball one day, and Kennan shows up and asked if he could join us. And my first reaction was ah, fresh meat. It worked that way for a short period of time, pretty soon his athleticism and conditioning kicked in and elevated all our games. We, for the past 4 or 5 years, its been an wonderful thing. Every Saturday morning we meet, have a couple hours of handball and then we sit down and solve all the world’s problems. So we got to know not only his athletic ability, but his tremendous knowledge and intellect and his tremendous wit. It didn’t take very long to realize you were dealing with a very exceptional person. It was certainly my pleasure to do that. I read this about Friends touched by God, a very biblical concept, and clearly that was very true of Kennan. His witness was his life and his love for Libby and family. I’m sure you didn’t have to know him very well for him to impact your life.

Track 42 - Bob Wilson, Fairlington neighbor

I’m one of the many neighbors of Kennan that was a beneficiary of his generosity. When I think of his generosity it was always with a smile. We were moving from our basement to our attic, which was renovated, and had to get the mattress up there. There’s nothing more awkward than a mattress. But I found out that one of Kennan’s jobs in college had been moving furniture and I asked him if he could help us. And of course, immediately he came over and it was a pretty torturous trip to get it up but it’s been there ever since. It reminds me, when I looked at Kennan’s picture, of a saying that the Japanese have because it was certainly part of his generosity. And the saying is ‘A smile is more beautiful than a flower.’

Track 43 - Graeme Frelich, Peace Corps friend

I first met Kennan and Libby 35 years ago as they were starting their Peace Corp experience. As many others, I experienced them as a team. I also experienced Kennan’s generosity, his steadfastness, his quite confidence in working together on training programs, and seeing him in EPA. And having a brief encounter on the racquetball court and realized he was quite competent in that area too. And in particular with regard to family, we sort of led parallel lives in some respects. Two daughters, young grandfathers bordering the line between being a grandfather and father. And so we shared a lot. What I wanted to do here was to celebrate Kennan and Libby’s relationship, which I think was precious, and something that very few people could claim to be married almost 35 years. And to have had such a beautiful relationship, which I feel in the spirit will always endure. I’ve been deeply moved by Kennan’s passing, being almost the same age and living in a similar kind of circumstance. I just want to pledge my love and my support to Libby, to Shannon, to Ruth, Jeremiah, Owen and to Mikaela as a fellow grandfather and father.

Track 44 - Jackie DeCarlo, Head of Meeting

I promised I won’t forget the song, which about 5 people are telling me. You’ve heard a few references about Thanksgiving gatherings and apparently its tradition in the family to sing a certain song. You’ve been given the words in your program. You’ve been invited to sing along, I think we have some very able people who are going to start us off and we’ll join in all together.

“Let all things now living, a song of Thanksgiving. To God our Creator, triumphantly raise. Who fashioned and made us, protected and stayed us. Who guideth us on to the end of our days. His banners are o’er us, his light goes before us. A pillar of fire shinning forth in the night. Till shadows have vanished and darkness is banished. As forward we travel from light into light.”

Libby: “Thank you all, very, very much. “