I’ve been developing a theory about resilience.   I think it involves one of my favorite terms: delusional creativity.   People who have delusional creativity delude themselves about how much they can do.  They think they can accomplish much more than they can.  And so they do.   Many people are much more realistic about what they can and can’t do, and so only accomplish what they should be able to, but not more.  It’s good to delude yourself, but, of course, not too much.  Like everything, its a balance.  

Today, I deluded myself that I could actually get out of the house with my daughter, Ruth, and her two children and their luggage on time in order to get them to Dulles airport for a 4:30 flight back to Quito Ecuador and get me on the stage at Constitution Hall by 3pm for Yorktown’s graduation.  We were to leave at 1pm.   We left at 1:30.  I always take 66 to get to Dulles, but Ruth said we should take the beltway.  It was, indeed, much better, but as I was preparing to exit onto 66 west from the beltway, Ruth’s GPS (that we thought we’d turned off) piped up and said to continue straight.  What??!!  We scrambled to check and managed to avoid the wrong exit.  Whew!  At the airport we did a quick drop off, but when I tried to pull out I found I’d been boxed in.  It was 2:13.  I got out of the car to ask the man next to me to move a little.  Nope.  But the kind man behind me backed out so I could leave.  I headed for DC and put in an order to Kennan (part of my deluding myself—I think it really helps to ask him for help) for good traffic.

I practically flew into DC with the lightest traffic I’ve experienced in ages on 66 and arrived at Constitution Ave at 2:42.  I thanked Kennan and put in another order:  I need a parking space right by Constitution Hall.  I’ve had incredible luck with parking spaces since Kennan died and I regularly delude myself that he’s got something to do with it.  This makes me feel both happier and more secure.   As I pulled onto 18th street and scanned for a parking space, a tail light caught my eye.  Yes!!  A pickup pulled out and I pulled into his space.  One half block from the hall.  It was 2:49.  I walked up the steps into the hall and immediately found the person with my gown to wear.  I was in line ready to walk in by 2:59, or so.

Is it luck, or do I have a guardian angel?  Personally, I think I have several and that we all have guardian angels, but that is, most likely, deluding myself.  But it works for me.  What also works for me are the many real live people who have sent me wonderful words of encouragement and thoughtful support as I go through my latest life challenge with breast cancer.  I am most grateful to you.  Wonderful support from this community, friends and family…....and some delusional creativity have gotten me through a lot worse and I know I’ll be fine.   I hope the end of the school year has gone well for everyone, especially those with a graduate in the family.

Being part of a supportive community helps make one resilient, so I’ve decided that one way to look at building community is to consider that work an investment in one’s own well being.   You help yourself when you help others.  So, while many people have been admonishing me to take care of myself and not to do too much, I will, but I’ve found over the past two years that worrying about how to help other people with their problems is one of the best ways to take your mind off your own.  It’s important to take care of oneself…...but not too much.  

And sometimes you have to push yourself a bit to take care of yourself.  Yesterday Phoenix Bikes held the first annual Kennan Garvey Community Bike ride.  It was great.  I had the longest, hottest and most hilly bike ride I’ve had in some time…..and felt better today than I have in a while.  Good outdoor physical exercise helps one be resilient.  Or at least it makes you feel better.  I’m lucky to have a bike and a great place to ride it.  

I recently treated myself to a small Buddha statue which now sits contemplating my small backyard pond.  He brings an air of calmness and reminds me that sometimes the best way to take care of yourself and take your mind off your own problems is not to think much at all, but just take time to be.

I’m lucky to know I’m lucky.